Run to the Rhythm

There are things that I am, and things that I'm not.  Similar to the Camino, I have my high points and low points, and even if the route during the last few days have been constant and level, our attitudes and morale do not always follow suit.  I started to consider how much of our attitudes we're actually in control of.  I can fix a rainy day with ice cream and ordering in Chinese, but I can't fix the persistent body aches or intangible mental annoyances that carry on with each and every step.

I suppose we can't be inspired every day and we can't always be happy just because we expected to.  Still, I do believe that our own tempo develops us and makes us better, even if we don't believe it does at first or even like it.  There are some days, when I wake up and ask for just five more minutes, the same way I did during University or afterwards with my previous profession. Other days, I question how much I really like hiking, or walking for that matter, and wonder if what I've put my body through the last few years has been really worth it.  I think that pain can both tell us when to stop and take a break, orcan  inspire us to change our rhythm and find what works.  Maybe it just takes a knee brace or ibuprofen that's necessary--or maybe it's a professional or location based lifestyle change.

So not everyday can be described as "good", but that doesn't mean that it was awful.  Something or someone you didn't expect or plan for in your life doesn't mean that you're thrown off your track of ultimate happiness or whatever it is you were working towards.  I can't control or maintain an easy-going positive attitude and max it out everyday, but I know that I can control how I express myself, even if it's choosing to smile over choosing to frown.  And I've learned over the years that smiling goes a long way.

I think sometimes I'd like to fantasize that the Camino de Santiago is this happy-go-lucky dream where we break out into spontaneously choreographed song and dance accompanied by harmonic forest critters.  Though I know that pilgrims, including myself, are going through an internal journey just as much as an external one. And this kind of journey may not be remedied by the completion of the Camino, or even by a fellow pilgrim.

I was walking next to someone new a few days ago, and when asked for reasons for doing the Camino, my limited Italian could only reveal that, "Last year I was sad, and this year I want to be happy."

The rest of the stretch was walked mostly in silence and nothing more was said on the issue.  Sometimes that's all you need or all you can offer.

So no matter the expectations we have on the Camino, or even in life, it's not always going to be easy/lucky/free  (reference to the song by Bright Eyes).  Though in spite of this, our life's rhythm isn't static.  Our pace changes and dances along with the factors of time, health, money, attitude, and those around us.

So on this/my Camino and even in my life, I want to run, skip, or stroll to my rhythm as I please.  I want to smile, and know how powerful it can be, and I want to sing if I think it feels right.  And that's how I hope to spend my bad days.

The following morning, two of the younger guys that I've seen on and off, were wearing identical "Hello Kitty" t-shirts that were purchased for them by one of the girls.  The juxtaposition of a fluffy kitten with a pink bow on the t-shirts worn by these "tough" guys had the dormitory hall rolling in laughter and camera flashes  resulting in the immediate increase in morale.  On our way out, we learned by the Hospitalero, or person who looks after the hostel, that one of the female pilgrims was robbed in the city last night and no longer had her cash and credit cards.  We donated what we could to help her continue on her way.